Sunday, December 09, 2007
wO Lei Le.. wO yiNg gAi fAnG Qi mA??
I dunno wat the hell am i doing here at this unearthly hour.. 3am.. and i got driving lesson at 8am.. great lo.. i just feeling abit not comfortable abt my feelings.. tts all..
Ever since i entered NTU.. enter Hall 7.. my life can onli be described using one word.. "BUSY".. its like so freaking busy tt i dun have time for my own.. no time for pple who i wld like to spend more time with.. sigh.. the amt of workload and commitment i have.. just make me feel veri veri tired.. so much so tt.. my frds often mistaken me as being "emo".. just bcos i am veri high and hyper at the beginning.. but slowly... all this commitments just make my energy level veri low.. and just don feel like being too hyper and stuffs.. during my exam periods.. i cant slp veri well.. every hr or 2 hrs i will surely woke up.. always tot tt there is something i have not settled.. tts why i woke up.. haix..
feeling veri tired.. physically.. mentally.. emotionally.. never in my life i am so busy.. i always tink i am a super slacker and stuffs.. even my frds said so.. but i dunno why i entered uni and hall.. i start to get veri enthu.. hall committee.. sports.. rec.. special projects.. gathering.. and stuffs.. so much so tt i din get alot of slp..
like wat i say in the previous few posts.. i like a gal.. though i know her onli like few mths.. and like her onli like few mths.. i try to go after her and stuffs lo.. i nv know how to go after a gal in my life la.. i din realli go after my ex last time la.. i try to show care and concerns for her.. in the small small way and stuffs..try to gve her encouragements when she needs to.. trying to know more abt her.. but she did not seems like wanting to know anything abt me.. sigh.. i din do much things oso la.. get her somethings to reward her for her success.. when she sick/muscle ache get her something to make her feel better.. on her bday.. i spent some efforts (like learning new things so tt i can do wat i wan to do.. travel to places to get the stuffs needed.. and despite all the tight schedules.. i managed to squeeze out some times..) to make something for her.. i dunno le.. i dunno if she can feel it anot.. i mean.. if she nv realli talk too much during the convos wif me.. does it mean i got no chance?? right??
Everytime we got convos.. its like me trying to think of a topic just to talk to her.. but then.. the few sentences she replied.. its veri hard to continue from it.. and its not easy to find topics to talk abt la.. and she took quite long to reply too.. sigh.. i just wish to like talk to her more.. and get to know her better.. but sshe din realli like try to understand me.. cos she nv ask anything related to me b4 anyway.. haix..
I just need some reactions from her.. no matter is rejection or acceptance.. i don realli wish to like let this things hang it there.. like going no where like tt..at least if she behaves abit more negative.. i will know what she means.. den i will just give up straight.. but now its like normal frds and stuffs.. i din receive any special treatments or not.. she is like much closer to the seniors oso.. well.. hmmm.. maybe i am just being stupid and stubborn.. perhaps she alreadi show the negative ways le.. just tt i din realize onli.. the hangin matter just like making me dunno shld i let go anot la.. sigh.. i know tt i cant expect much from her oso.. but at least.. i need some forms of reciprocation.. not like treating me better la.. but at least i hope i can have more convos wif her.. and exchange more sms.. and better still.. if she can initiate some convos.. and i will be veri happy le..
Wo lei le.. wo ying gai fang qi ma?? i just need some encouragment/reciprocation..
NiKe_bOi
2:54 AM
